49.

13ce77bd-33f4-4afc-81e3-523f3a5db8b0When I bump into your lover ,I will smile.I will stretch my lips the farthest they go and try to make my eyes twinkle but they will fail to do so.When I hear your name slipping off your lover’s lips like it wasn’t meant to I will pretend to have forgotten about you.Your name as soft and comforting like warm honey but I know all about the knives and thorns you hide beneath each syllable.Instead I will pretend my eyes never twinkled as I watched the stars with you.I will not tell her every 6pm was a sunset with you and even now I hear your voice in the​ evening breeze.When she tells me that you brought her flowers last week,I wouldn’t tell her that you made gardens of misunderstood daisies explode in my veins.You made flowers grow out of every flaw and nourished it till my lungs were so full of flowers that I couldn’t breathe anymore.I would smile instead and ask what kind of flowers they were even though it’s always the darn daisies and kind words you bring home after a long day.When she tells me about your new family I will whisper the names we had decided to name our kids like a chant to keep hold of you.I almost have to stop myself from calling you mine.From telling our story to your new lover.From climbing a mountain and carving our story on every tree that I can find.When your lover invites me for Sunday brunch,I will not tell her that I write you letters every day because I don’t know how not to.One after one the words pile up like flowers once did.I never sent them to you.And now they lie beside me where you should have been.When your lover tells me about the new life you’ve built I wouldn’t tell her that I still cling on to my past one.The gardens that you grew inside me are swarming with words and dead petals and the roots are clutching my heart and I am barely surviving.Don’t let the flowers die.Honey,you still live in them.

 

-Kasturi Dev Choudhury

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